Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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