We won't sleep together?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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