Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
