I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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