yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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