He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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