Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
