I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
