can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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