Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
