There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
