plz talk dirty to me
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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