as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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