Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
