Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Randomize
