I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
