So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
