Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
