your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
