The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
