Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
