Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
