it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
