I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
