Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
