She is in my trunk
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
only if we run a train.
done.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
