I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
