i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She even gives head with a lisp.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
