She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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