We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
