just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
