i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
