you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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