U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
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