I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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