if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
