you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
