Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
