Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
