He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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