It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
