I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
