Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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