Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She said her name was "party"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
