my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
