yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
