a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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