he wants to bone in the snuggie
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
