Someone shit on the floor
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
