he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
